Did You Let Your Dream Die? It's Never Too Late.

Dreaming Isn't as Risky as You Think

I always like to say that writing—and creativity—is in my DNA. My grandmother was a poet, my aunt is a crafting genius, and my dad was always coming up with really creative inventions and story ideas. Brainstorming ideas has always just felt natural to me; in fact, that’s how the idea for this newsletter came to me. (But I digress.)

Despite all that, it’s not always been this easy to be a dreamer.

My Roots

I was raised by two amazing parents who had a strong work ethic, and they instilled that drive in me too. My dad worked for General Motors his entire life, only leaving to serve in the Vietnam War.

From the age of eighteen up until his forties, he worked for that one place, then he was able to retire at an early age. Careers like this were a lot more common back in his day than they are today, so it’s not that crazy of a notion. At any rate, this is the sort of example I grew up with.

It wasn’t so easy for me, however.

My Struggles

My entire adult life, I went back and forth between “normal” jobs and my creative pursuits. Here’s a quick timeline of my experience:

1. Newspaper staff for two years in high school (16+)

2. Dropped out of my journalism program (18)

3. Worked in the medical industry (18+)

4. Associate’s degree in computer programming (23)

5. Worked in the tech industry (23–35)

6. Worked in the beauty industry (35–42)

7. Returned to the medical industry (42–44)

8. Started writing again and became an editor (44–49)

9. Started work again on my journalism degree (49)

So, here I am coming full circle, returning to my original dream of becoming a professional writer at a time in my life where I should have things figured out by now, or so it feels like.

It only took a lifetime of struggling and the deaths of my parents to get there. (And maybe the refusal to let my mental health take the wheel.)

But I’ve learned a lot of lessons over the years that I’d love to share with you.

It’s Never Too Late to Dream: The Lessons

So, here are the lessons, in no particular order.

1) It’s okay to take your time figuring things out.

Do not listen to the people who think you need to know what you want to be “when you grow up” before you graduate high school. Half the time, those aspirations are far from what’s going to end up making us happy.

Wanna know how I know?

Well, for starters, I was not one of the smart kids in school; however, I hang out with all the kids who people thought were geniuses.

There was the really smart guy who got accepted to MIT, then left shortly after.

There was the girl who became as a Harvard professor, then left to pursue even more creative dreams.

There was the homecoming queen who had aspirations of becoming a doctor, then ended up in a trade career.

It might have take one of them a year to figure out what they thought they wanted wasn’t for them, and maybe another realized she wasn’t done dreaming. Does that make the lesson any less valid? I don’t think so.

These people, back then, were incredible, wonderful people, and they still are. They still succeed in the same way they did back in high school, but their lives didn’t exactly end up how they expected. It doesn’t change who they are; it makes them more of who they are to make these authentic choices.

2) Failure is the best F-word.

Wanna talk about failure? I’ve had so many I’ve lost count of them. For so long, I felt like such a loser because nothing I ever tried to achieve was successful. Hit after hit, my efforts took so much out of me, and it made me want to give up on life.

I recommend fucking up on purpose.
Gary Vaynerchuk

Do you ever feel like that? Like a loser who can’t ever get anything right? (Man, I’m going to be so embarrassed if I’m the only loser here.) Of course, deep down, we know we’re only really disappointing ourselves, but for a split second, it often makes me feel like I don’t know how to do anything right.

In moments like these, you have to remember you’re only looking at one moment in time. In a few minutes, hours, days, months, etc., your life is going to look a lot different. And depending on the size of the failure, you might not even remember what happened. You will, however, go through a series of events after that failure to lead you to the success you’re currently experiencing.

Haven’t found that success yet? Keep failing. You’ll get there. Let those moments push you to find your joy.

3) Your dreams don’t have deadlines.

LL Cool J is famous for having said the following:

Dreams don’t have deadlines.

If you only remember one thing from this, this quote is what I want you to remember. Don’t believe me? Here are some statistics to prove you wrong:

• Back in the 1950s, the founder of KFC opened the first KFC at the age of sixty-two.

• Julia Child wrote her first cookbook when she was fifty, and she’s known all over the world as one of the most famous French chefs in history.

• Grandma Moses was in her seventies when she was discovered as a painter.

• The founder of GEICO started his company in his fifties.

• Duncan Hines was in his seventies when he was approached to put his name on his famous products.

• Henry Ford founded Ford in his forties.

• Sam Walton—after many, many, many failures—opened the first Wal-Mart when he was forty-four.

• Charles Darwin published On the Origin of Species when he was fifty.

• Nelson Mandela became an activist in his 40s.

Photo by Gregory Fullard on Unsplash

• Toni Morrison was forty when her first novel was published.

• JRR Tolkien didn’t complete Lord of the Rings until he was fifty-six.

• John Pemberton invented the formula for Coca-Cola when he was fifty-five.

We all think we need to have our life sorted by a certain age, but I’m not sure exactly where that came from. If you look at the world around you and the people in, very few people can consider themselves a huge success in their twenties—or even their thirties.

It’s actually more common for huge successes to come along much later in life.

4) Dreams can change.

Who did you dream you’d become when you were a child? My dream was to become a veterinarian because I loved animals so much, but that dream obviously changed when I got a chance to explore the world around me.

Did that mean I didn’t love animals anymore? Of course not. It just meant I was open to more meaningful definitions of what my life could become if I set my mind to the task.

Your dream will change—and it might change a lot. Just know that’s okay. You’re allowed to change your mind about who you are, what you believe, and what you want to accomplish in your life. It really is better to change your mind and pivot than to stick with something you’re not 100% happy with just because you don’t want to rock the boat.

You know what I say? Rock the damned boat. Make the water nervous. You are a force to be reckoned with, so you shouldn’t let anyone’s idea of you hold you back.

5) Dreams don’t need to make you wealthy.

Look, everyone’s dreams are different. Just because we call it a “dream” doesn’t mean it’s some out-of-reach monetary figure we’re trying to earn. Hell, “living the dream” doesn’t even need to be about earning money at all. Sometimes it’s just about having a life you can be proud of.

Writer A might have a dream to become a six- or seven-figure self-published romance author. On the other hand, you have Writer B whose only goal is to get a publishing contract with Random House. (By the way, both these dreams are achievable; however, they require a lot of work.) One of these is driven by a dollar sign, and the other is more of an achievement rather than a lifestyle.

Examples of creative dreams could be one of the following:

• Finish writing a novel

• Create drawings/illustrations for your comic book

• Master the art of crocheting

• Become a millionaire poet

• Finish an MFA in sculpture

• Land a showing at your local art gallery

• Sell your first $5,000 photograph

• Make a living from your creative business ($40,000+/year)

• Get awarded a grant for your next art project (check out my first post to see if you qualify for any of these)

All of these types of dreams are valid—as long as they are authentic to what you want to do with your life.

6) It’s okay to start out by dreaming small.

Are you new to this whole dreaming thing? Start small with something achievable, then your dream can evolve from there. Let’s say you’re feeling frustrated because you’ve dreamt of making a living from your poetry for many years, yet you haven’t found one journal who wants to publish your work yet.

If you keep running into closed doors like that, I’d recommend adjusting your perspective by making your dream smaller. So, instead of wanting to earn a living from your poetry, maybe you could dream about starting a poetry-themed side hustle. Realistically, that’s a dream that can be achieved in a year or less, depending on how complex the business idea is.

Always remember, too, that small dreams can turn into bigger dreams if you give them time to mature. So, maybe you saw your dream of becoming a painter realized by finishing your first painting. Once you hit that milestone, you need to take a step back and say, “Okay, what’s next?” Maybe it’s selling your first painting or getting hired to do a commission.

You can think of these miniature dreams as stepping stones to the bigger picture. Take one step at a time, and you’ll eventually get there.

Photo by Nicolas Hoizey on Unsplash

7) You’re allowed to dream more than once.

There is no rule that says you only deserve to claim one dream in your lifetime. Hell, there are no rules for dreaming period. Achieved a dream? Okay, then what’s next for you? Keep going and going until you feel like you’ve accomplished everything you set out to achieve.

You keep going until there are no dreams left to dream.

Kristenson, S. (2024, February 27). 35 people who became famous later in life. Develop Good Habits. https://www.developgoodhabits.com/successful-people-later/